My Biggest Mistake
Today I want to talk about college. Let's just say I messed up. I messed up big time for my first semester. And I want to write this for anyone of similar age who may make the same mistake that I did because it's a really easy mistake to make.
I started college as a Biology major. I've always liked the sciences, but like is the key word there. I found it interesting and that was about it. But my passion has for a very long time been in law enforcement. When I was a kid, may from about 4 to 16, I dressed up as a cop every year for Halloween. Since 4 that's what I wanted to do but something changed when I turned 16. That something was my grandparents.
I remember the day I told my grandma that I wanted to be a cop. I remember it really well actually because her answer devastated me. That answer was a blunt "no". It took me by surprise because I grew up with parents who told me to follow my dreams and that I could be anything I wanted to be if I worked for it. And then to be told "no" was the last thing I expected.
My grandma and I have never really gotten along. She makes comments that really hurt sometimes and she doesn't seem to notice or care, how it affects other people. My whole life, I put up with the comments and the fat shaming and the never being good enough. And my whole life, I strove to be the best of the best so that maybe, just maybe, she'd compliment me or tell me she was proud of me. But that still hasn't happened. I've been a straight-A student my whole life, 5 AP classes my senior year and still managed that, but that wasn't good enough. I played and was captain of, 2 varsity sports. I got named #6 goalie in the state for lacrosse. I worked my ass off at school and in my extracurriculars so that I could make her proud. And the only thing that even made her smile was the day that I told her I was going to be a doctor. That was the day she was proud of me because she got something better to brag to her friends about. He granddaughter was finally going to make something of herself and be prestigious.
So, I applied to college as a bio major with a pre-med focus, still hoping to make her proud. And I bombed. Straight A's in high school is one thing, kids, but college is a whole new ballgame. I took Bio, Chem, Expository Writing, Calc and a Freshman Seminar all in my first semester. I had to drop calculus because I got an 8.5/100 on my first exam (math has NEVER been my strong suit). I failed chem because I couldn't handle two sciences at once, as well as the heavy math that chem involved. And the subject I was best at in high school, Biology, I got a D in. By the end of my first semester, my GPA was shot and I was put on academic warning because of it. Now I'm only sharing all of this because I'm trying to prove a point. I hated my life in my first semester. I sat alone all day long when I didn't have class, studying my ass off and not understanding what I was doing. I had no social interaction. Even my roommate barely saw me. And I did it all because I wanted approval and prestige.
At the end of last semester, I sat down with my mom and explained to her how much I hated what I was doing and exactly why I was doing it. Her response was "You're stupid" but not in a mean way. In the way a mother sometimes has to knock some sense into her kid and help them down a better path. She told me the best thing I could do to get out the of depression I was in, was to screw my grandmother and do what I want to do. And I did. I immediately set my schedule for the next semester up with Criminal Justice and Criminology classes. I added Psychology to it because I've always found that fascinating. And here I am, 3 weeks into the semester and I'm happier than ever.
The point of this is, it's easy to get roped into what other people want for you. Whether its a grandparent or even your own parents, maybe even a guidance counselor from high school, it's sooooooo easy to get lost in other peoples dreams for you. But what you need to remember is that if you aren't happy with what you're doing, you're not going to get anywhere. You're going to struggle, you're going to hate what you're doing, and you might even fail. But that's okay because it's never too late to change.
Do what you want to do, and if you find our a semester or two in that you actually don't like it, it's okay to change again. The average college student changes their major 4-5 times and it's totally okay to fit into a statistic. For a while I was scared of that, being a statistic, but what I've come to realize is that there is no way to escape the labels. Just try to make those labels a motivator for you and you'll be set.
Just listen to your heart, follow your passions, live like it's your last day and you'll be happy.
Good luck!
I started college as a Biology major. I've always liked the sciences, but like is the key word there. I found it interesting and that was about it. But my passion has for a very long time been in law enforcement. When I was a kid, may from about 4 to 16, I dressed up as a cop every year for Halloween. Since 4 that's what I wanted to do but something changed when I turned 16. That something was my grandparents.
I remember the day I told my grandma that I wanted to be a cop. I remember it really well actually because her answer devastated me. That answer was a blunt "no". It took me by surprise because I grew up with parents who told me to follow my dreams and that I could be anything I wanted to be if I worked for it. And then to be told "no" was the last thing I expected.
My grandma and I have never really gotten along. She makes comments that really hurt sometimes and she doesn't seem to notice or care, how it affects other people. My whole life, I put up with the comments and the fat shaming and the never being good enough. And my whole life, I strove to be the best of the best so that maybe, just maybe, she'd compliment me or tell me she was proud of me. But that still hasn't happened. I've been a straight-A student my whole life, 5 AP classes my senior year and still managed that, but that wasn't good enough. I played and was captain of, 2 varsity sports. I got named #6 goalie in the state for lacrosse. I worked my ass off at school and in my extracurriculars so that I could make her proud. And the only thing that even made her smile was the day that I told her I was going to be a doctor. That was the day she was proud of me because she got something better to brag to her friends about. He granddaughter was finally going to make something of herself and be prestigious.
So, I applied to college as a bio major with a pre-med focus, still hoping to make her proud. And I bombed. Straight A's in high school is one thing, kids, but college is a whole new ballgame. I took Bio, Chem, Expository Writing, Calc and a Freshman Seminar all in my first semester. I had to drop calculus because I got an 8.5/100 on my first exam (math has NEVER been my strong suit). I failed chem because I couldn't handle two sciences at once, as well as the heavy math that chem involved. And the subject I was best at in high school, Biology, I got a D in. By the end of my first semester, my GPA was shot and I was put on academic warning because of it. Now I'm only sharing all of this because I'm trying to prove a point. I hated my life in my first semester. I sat alone all day long when I didn't have class, studying my ass off and not understanding what I was doing. I had no social interaction. Even my roommate barely saw me. And I did it all because I wanted approval and prestige.
At the end of last semester, I sat down with my mom and explained to her how much I hated what I was doing and exactly why I was doing it. Her response was "You're stupid" but not in a mean way. In the way a mother sometimes has to knock some sense into her kid and help them down a better path. She told me the best thing I could do to get out the of depression I was in, was to screw my grandmother and do what I want to do. And I did. I immediately set my schedule for the next semester up with Criminal Justice and Criminology classes. I added Psychology to it because I've always found that fascinating. And here I am, 3 weeks into the semester and I'm happier than ever.
The point of this is, it's easy to get roped into what other people want for you. Whether its a grandparent or even your own parents, maybe even a guidance counselor from high school, it's sooooooo easy to get lost in other peoples dreams for you. But what you need to remember is that if you aren't happy with what you're doing, you're not going to get anywhere. You're going to struggle, you're going to hate what you're doing, and you might even fail. But that's okay because it's never too late to change.
Do what you want to do, and if you find our a semester or two in that you actually don't like it, it's okay to change again. The average college student changes their major 4-5 times and it's totally okay to fit into a statistic. For a while I was scared of that, being a statistic, but what I've come to realize is that there is no way to escape the labels. Just try to make those labels a motivator for you and you'll be set.
Just listen to your heart, follow your passions, live like it's your last day and you'll be happy.
Good luck!
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